12 Days of Christmas, 2011
by Sunlight through Leaves
Summary: The next installment of a series of one-shots based on themes from the Kakairu Group on DA. Christmas Kakairu!
1. 1st Day of Christmas

That's right, it's this time of year again! I'm only a couple of days late in starting. Enjoy the silliness again. Beta-d by the lovely Kiterie/SumiHatake.

OOOOOOO

**1st Day of Christmas  
><strong>_Theme: Armaments vs ornaments_

Christmas was supposed to be the season of good will. That fact, however, was proving hard to remember in light of the roiling clouds of smoke pouring out of his doorway. Iruka took the stairs three at a time, ducking through the doorway to avoid asphyxiation, and slid to a stop in the center of his apartment.

One very chagrined jounin looked up at him.

"Kakashi! Are you okay? I saw the smoke, and I thought..." He moved in far enough to see the empty tree stand in the middle of the chaos. Funny. He was certain he'd left a tree there this morning.

His apartment hadn't been quite so soggy this morning, either, and the scorched circle in his floor was definitely new.

"What happened?"

"You know how you asked me to decorate the tree?"

Iruka nodded slowly.

"I couldn't find your ornaments."

"And...?" Honestly, getting the full story from Kakashi was like pulling teeth.

"I found a replacement that looked exceptionally stylish and was a perfect accent for any self-respecting shinobi tree."

The acerbic smoke was starting to burn his lungs and eyes. Kakashi must have had some super-secret jounin shield erected around him, but Iruka was not going to be able to stand much more. He clapped his sleeve over his mouth and stepped over Kakashi, reaching for the window.

Fresh air spilled in around him, tossing the stack of papers on the windowsill onto the floor. Iruka bent to retrieve them and stared at them for a moment while his brain put the pieces together. "You decorated the tree with EXPLOSIVE tags?"

"It made for a very elegant tree."

"KAKASHI!"

"You really would have liked it, if it hadn't caught on fire."

"They're explosive tags. What do you think they do?"

"You know, you're really not seeing the bright side of all of this."

"There's a bright side to this?"

"I didn't burn down your apartment?"

Iruka took a deep breath, thought about pointing out that _not_ using the explosive tags in the first place would have guaranteed that and kept his belongings relatively moisture-free, but immediately dropped it. The thought of _not_ using the explosive tags would never have crossed Kakashi's mind.

At least Christmas with Kakashi was never boring, and this wasn't nearly as bad as the 'Good Will Towards Men' fiasco he'd endured last year.


	2. 2nd Day of Christmas

**2nd Day of Christmas  
><strong>_Theme:Yamato vs Yamanaka - Battle of Christmas Tree Suppliers_

There was a fully-masked ANBU in his apartment. It wasn't quite the last thing Iruka had been expecting, but it was certainly close. A short cough unsuccessfully covered a panicked yelp of surprise, and he backpedaled quickly until his back hit the wall, and he had nowhere else to go.

ANBU in your apartment were not desirable. It usually meant that they suspected you of espionage and were about to drag you off to T&I.

This ANBU, however, gave him a cursory nod and turned back to wrapping lights around the branches of a very statuesque pine.

Odd. Iruka had gone out because they were currently minus a tree - thanks to Kakashi's inventive decorating techniques. Not to mention the fact that the tree stand was sitting next to Iruka's left foot and not in it's proper place _under_ the tree.

As torture didn't seem imminent, Iruka took a couple of steps back towards the ANBU and his tree. Kakashi's water jutsu had done more damage than Iruka'd first noticed. His floor was buckled under the new tree so dramatically that it _almost_ looked like it was merging with the trunk.

Iruka realized what was going on with a start. Even though he had never seen it in action, he'd heard of this jutsu before. His floor was never going to be the same - so much material had been borrowed to grow the tree that it had pulled a good three feet away from the wall on all sides - but he felt a particular pang of sympathy for his downstairs neighbors. The roots had to be _incredibly_ annoying.

Kakashi stepped out from behind the tree and retrieved the lights from the ANBU. He grinned at Iruka. "Welcome home. We have a tree."

"Yes, I see that. Why did you grow it in the apartment?"

"Didn't you want something other than the pile of the charred ashes of our previous tree?" Kakashi looked puzzled.

"Yes, but why couldn't you have just grown it outside and brought it in?"

Both men stared at him. The thought had clearly never crossed their minds. What was it with jounin and having their common sense gland removed?

Iruka sighed and went in search of their box of ornaments - he was _not_ letting Kakashi get creative with the decorations again. It was a very nice tree, all things considered, and as long as he didn't think about how he was going to remove it from his floor, he could enjoy having it around.


	3. 3rd Day of Christmas

**3rd Day of Christmas  
><strong>_Theme: A Shinobi Family's Get Together - Recipe for Chaos_

His apartment looked like a miniature, albeit very limited war zone. Compared to the previous day's incident, as long as his apartment wasn't smoking, he would be happy, but this was _disturbing_ to say the least.

Several ballistic trails of potting soil covered the floor.

Even though Iruka didn't usually have plants, Kakashi had insisted that Mr. Ukki be transferred to Iruka's apartment during the holiday season. Christmas was, after all, a time to be spent with family, and besides the dogs, Mr. Ukki was as close to a child as they were going to get.

Iruka had laughed, rolled his eyes and given Mr. Ukki a place of honor in the center of the festivities. He'd even wrapped the pot and hung some tinsel from Mr. Ukki's leaves. Now, however, he was regretting allowing the plant into his home.

The books that had been on the table beside Mr. Ukki were scattered on the floor with a couple of pine cones.

A gingerbread kunai was imbedded in his wall, scarce inches from the top-most leaf on Mr. Ukki's stalk. Iruka recognized one of the ornaments that used to adorn their chakra-derived tree, "What happened?"

"Feud," Kakashi answered, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Between Mr. Ukki and the tree?" He stepped carefully over the shards of a truly heinous glass ornament that Anko had bought for him as a joke, and he'd been trying to accidentally break for years. He'd have to thank the tree for that later. "Why?"

"Trees are snotty jerks. Everyone knows that."


	4. 4th Day of Christmas

**4th Day of Christmas  
><strong>_Theme: Presents are Supposed to be a Surprise_

Somewhere. It was here, Kakashi was certain of that, buried somewhere in the depths of Iruka's apartment. Unable to rely on the ninken - they couldn't sniff out something that smelled of Iruka when _everything _smelled like Iruka - he'd resorted to more mundane tactics.

The pile of clothes spilling from Iruka's closet stood as a silent memorial to his attempts to locate his present. Tossing Iruka's clothes out onto the floor had been cathartic, but yielded no useful information about possible locations.

The same was true for the kitchen cabinets, but he had allowed himself to be distracted long enough to throw out some of the food from the far back corners that had expired several years ago. The rest littered the kitchen floor.

Raised as a shinobi from the moment he was born, Kakashi associated the word 'surprise' with ambush. His hatred of surprises was rooted deeply in that association. Being told that his present was 'a surprise' triggered that innate response and led to a very bad day for Iruka's apartment. At least he hadn't resorted to taking the walls apart - he'd used his sharingan to look for hidden compartments only to find none.

All of the storage spaces had been opened and emptied. There was _literally_no place for Iruka to have hidden something except for...

Of course! He'd looked everywhere else, so _tha__t_must be the hiding location. A brief moment of searching through the catalog of the thousands of techniques that his sharingan had copied dredged up the technique he was looking for. He activated it and hastily knelt, anticipation ringing so loudly through his veins that he barely heard the door open.

"What...?"

"Welcome home, Iruka." He hastened his search. If he was getting close, Iruka would yank him away at the first opportunity.

"Why is my furniture on the ceiling?" It was less of a question and more of a demand.

Kakashi checked the area where the bed had been. Nothing. He was sure it must have been under one of the pieces of furniture.

"What did you do to my kitchen?"

No sign of the present anywhere, which meant that Iruka could have hidden it in either the Hokage tower or his classroom. The later was more likely.

Iruka emerged from behind the kitchen counter with an armful of packaged food. He took one look at Kakashi's pensive face and snapped, "Don't even think about it."

At least the present was likely to be a _pleasant _surprise if Iruka could read him that well.


	5. 5th Day of Christmas

**5th Day of Christmas**  
><em>Theme: A ninken's perspective of the holiday insanity<em>

__Pakkun glowered He grumbled and glared and _sulked_ to no avail. What was it about the holidays that reduced even the most sane and logical person to a driveling idiot? He had been relieved when Kakashi'd found Iruka - if anyone was likely to be able to control his boss' insanity, it would be Iruka. The man handled thirty odd 10 years olds on a daily basis. What was one more?

He _had_ been thrilled. The past tense was the operative term in the sentence. He also _had_ been enjoying nice nap in the middle of the prime sunny spot in Iruka's apartment before the two had burst through the door in a flurry of snow and boxes and bags. He'd had to hurriedly vacate the spot to avoid getting buried under said boxes.

More decorations than could possibly fit in this apartment - even more than could likely fit in the entire building - came out of the boxes like some demented magic trick. But he could handle the decorations. The lights were actually somewhat pretty once night fell. He could even handle the eggnog and Christmas carols. Actually, he rather enjoyed listening to Kakashi and Iruka's voices wrapping around each other.

He could not, however, handle the garish red sweater with sparkly snowflakes that Iruka was currently wearing. Honestly, he'd always thought of Iruka as the stable one in the relationship.

Furthermore, he was in _no way_ going to put up with the red shirt, complete with snow-white fluffy trim at cuffs and hem and a black belt, that Iruka had just stuffed him into.

He'd been sitting in the doorway with his back to Kakshi and Iruka in an effort to show them exactly how displeased he was. He'd managed to shake the accompanying hat off, but without opposable thumbs, he couldn't get out of the blasted thing by himself.

The rest of the ninken had offered no help. Mostly they'd just sprawled in a pile in the corner, laughing at him, but Uhei - the traitor - had trotted happily over to Iruka and was now sporting a pair of stuffed reindeer horns.

Well, he could make an idiot out of himself all he wanted. Pakkun was not going to stand for this kind of treatment.

The smell of Iruka mixed with the faint trace of something else wafted over him, and a pair of feet stopped on either side. He refused to acknowledge the presence.

Iruka rose up onto the balls of his feet for a moment before dropping back down, wrapping his hands around Pakkun's belly and scooping him up into his arms.

His struggling was to no avail. Iruka's hands alone were larger than him and had the benefit of independent digits.

"Oh, stop sulking." Iruka rolled him over onto his back. "You look positively festive."

_Festive_ was not exactly how he would have put it. Stupid seemed to be a better descriptor, but the need to argue that point was outweighed by the sudden realization that he recognized that other smell. _Oh no._

Iruka kissed him on the nose and, within seconds, was surrounded by the rest of the pack, all of whom where demanding, either verbally or through intense tail wagging, that they deserved kisses too.

The accursed mistletoe hanging over Iruka's head suffered the full force of Pakkun's glare. Maybe approving Iruka as his boss' mate wasn't the best idea.

Iruka knelt with one arm slung around Uhei's neck and the other hand scratching Bull vigorously behind the ears. "When you're done pouting, we've got treats for everyone over by the tree."

At the word treats, the pack scattered. Bisuke vaulted onto Iruka's knee and up and over his shoulder, narrowly avoiding getting trampled by Bull. The others didn't exactly fit in through the narrow spaces between Iruka and the doorframe, especially when they all tried to squeeze through at the same time, but they gave it their best shot.

Pakkun turned around at a slightly more sedate pace. _Treats, huh?_ Maybe Iruka wasn't such a bad choice after all.

He was vastly unamused when Iruka snapped the santa hat back on his head while he was distracted by his treat.


	6. 6th Day of Christmas

**6th Day of Christmas  
><strong>_Theme: Garish Illuminations & The Hokage Tower_

The trail was rarely used and poorly marked, and Kakashi huffed out a breath, wondering again why he hadn't just transported them up to the top. "Only a little further," he called back over his shoulder.

Iruka ducked under a low-hanging branch and took several quick steps to catch up with Kakashi. "Are you planning on telling me where we're going?"

"You'll see." He winked broadly, enjoying the almost immediate pout that cropped up on Iruka's face. _So you don't like surprises any more than I do. Turnabout is fair play._

Even though it led to the top of the Hokage Mountain, the trailhead was located closer to the village wall, winding in and around some of the larger clan compounds until it disappeared into the woods that backed up against the monument. Unlike the official, railed trail to the top, this one led up dirt switchbacks that climbed the near vertical face, through a narrow ravine onto the flat terrace at the top, and emerged just west of the monument itself.

Soon the trees fell away, and they stepped out onto bare rock. Far above the village and without any vegetation or buildings to obscure the view, the stars were spectacular. The night was perfectly clear, albeit cold, and the bright ribbon of closely clustered stars stretched from horizon to horizon.

A faint gasp escaped Iruka's lips. "Beautiful."

"We're not there yet." He continued on while Iruka gaped at the tableau. Finding the perfect spot was paramount - he'd marked it yesterday when he'd been planning this, but he wanted to make sure the location was still ideal. He trotted up the rocky slope until he could just begin to see over the lip of the Hokage Mountain and down into the village below. "You can see it over here, Iruka!"

He cleared the last crest and got his first view of the village in its entirety. His heart sank to the general vicinity of his sandals. Those _things_ had not been up yesterday.

"Kakashi?" Iruka was shouting to be heard over the wind. "What am I supposed to be seeing...?" The last word trailed off.

The village spread out in a twinkling fan below them that ended abruptly at the wall, the dark forest beyond dotted with only sporadic, flickering campfires. The view from the top of the Hokage Mountain was picturesque on any other night. Around the holidays, it was breathtaking. The myriad of decorative lights and lanterns looked like a reflection of the stars above.

Or at least, they would have, if _someone_ hadn't chosen to decorate their roof sometime between last night and tonight. One of these days, he was going to track Gai down and beat him until he was forced to admit that _everything_ was not better in green. The entire roof was covered in a net of emerald lights that were flashing fast enough to induce seizures, and the air around his house had even taken on a decidedly greenish tint.

Iruka stepped lightly onto the rock parapet beside him, lips twitching in an unmistakable attempt to hold in a smile. "It's stunning." He laughed out loud at the single arched eyebrow he got in response. "Alright, it is a little over the top."

"A little?" Kakashi interjected.

"Looking at the village from this high up almost dehumanizes it. Most of the buildings blend together, and the people in the streets become little more than unidentifiable figures. It's awfully easy to forget that this village is made up of individuals who all play a role in keeping our country safe and strong, but it's their _idiosyncrasies_ that have allowed this village to triumph against all odds." Iruka raised his chin, a proud smile playing across his lips despite the quizzical look on Kakashi's face. "Seems that Gai-sensei has gone out of his way to remind us of that fact."

"You let Naruto decorate your house, didn't you?"

"He's doing it right now."

Almost on cue, lights blazed across the expanse of Iruka's roof. Kakashi blinked, impressed. Who knew you could make a recognizable bowl of ramen out of Christmas lights.

Beside him, Iruka groaned.


	7. 7th Day of Christmas

**7th Day of Christmas  
><strong>_Theme: Creative New Weapons Of Holiday Cheer_

Kakashi leaned against the wall and focused on looking dark and dangerous - he'd found that worked well to keep the younger children away.

In an effort to give the shinobi ranks a single night where they could forget about the war, the Hokage had decided to throw a Christmas party. The shear amount of logistics needed to put in on would have overwhelmed a lesser village, but the Hokage had a free source of labor to work with - every genin team was assigned a job.

Kakashi had protested vehemently and ineffectively to Minato when his team was assigned to entertainment for the kid's area. The kids? Regardless of his teammates abilities, he was a chuunin. He could be more useful on the front lines.

Plus, he didn't _like_ children. He'd even used that as an argument, but Minato had ruffled his hair and very patiently informed him that he _was_ a child.

Shrieks and bursts of laughter echoed down the hallway combined with the unmistakable sound of running feet. Kakashi stepped out away from the wall, gritting his teeth at what hooligans these children were. He opened his mouth to deliver a strict scolding about the proper composure of a shinobi-in-training.

A scrap of paper - he caught enough of the inscription to be certain that it was a summoning tag - struck him right between the eyebrows. Before he could even get a hand on it, it exploded into a cloud of tinsel and a disturbing number of stars.

He flew through a series of simple seals to blow the obscenely sparkly cloud away, revealing a ponytailed youth staring innocently up at him.

Kakashi was glad to see that his reputation had preceded him, if the two other kids diving behind their cohort were any indication.

The one with the ponytail threw his arms up in the air, mouth stretching into a wide smile that showed off a missing tooth and crinkled both his nose and the long scar that cut across it. He shouted, "Merry Christmas!" before sprinting off down the hall and liberally coating everyone in decorations.

It took Kakashi several long minutes to pick his jaw up off the floor.


	8. 8th Day of Christmas

**8th Day of Christmas**  
><em>Theme: To beat the crowds, celebrate as early as possible <em>

He'd only been out of his classroom for eight minutes at most, but someone had managed to sneak in. The brightly wrapped package on his desk _looked_ innocuous enough with its sparkling curled ribbon tied into a large bow across the top. Iruka, however, had enough experience to know better.

He stepped carefully into the room, eyes darting from walls to ceiling to floor and back to the package. No sign of anything suspicious, but he kept his guard up.

"It's not going to explode."

Iruka whirled towards the figure slouching in the doorway. "Kakashi! Did you leave this?"

Kakashi gave him very self-satisfied nod but no explanation.

"Okay." Iruka drawled the word out slowly. "Why?"

Kakashi crossed the room, wrapped an arm about his waist and kissed his cheek. "Merry Christmas."

"It's _June_."

"It's much simpler this time of year." He pointed out. "There are _no_ lines."

All manner of arguments came to mind, but he knew that Kakashi wouldn't subscribe to any of them, so he settled for shaking his head in disbelief. The action made Kakashi smile.

Sometimes, Iruka wondered if Kakashi decided to be truly bizarre - as opposed to slightly eccentric - just to aggravate him.

Sometimes, he _knew._


	9. 9th Day of Christmas

**9th Day of Christmas  
><strong>_Theme: Instigating fights between other shoppers to steal the last *absolutely fantastic/you are nothing without this* gift_

_Perfect!_ Iruka dodged an elderly lady with bulging shopping bags slung over her arms and twisted sideways to fit between two other last minute shoppers, gaze focused clearly on his prize.

Kotetsu and Izumo were always impossible to buy for. Three hours of combing through shops and stalls, and nothing had caught Iruka's eye until this. The round, thick target was built to look like the actual targets in the training grounds, but was magnetic and came complete with a set of darts that were shaped like kunai as long as you ignored the flat end. Okay, so it was a kid's toy, but at least it would keep them from pin-cushioning their wall with real kunai.

From his current location, he could only see one set left on the shelves and the street between him and it was completely packed with people. No amount of apologizing or elbowing would get him through that mass of people.

Iruka let the small bag that contained Naruto's present - one all-you-can-eat pass from Ichiraku; he'd had to promise them his soul, apartment and first-born child, should he ever have one, in order to get it - slide from his fingers. When it hit the ground, he looked down at it in surprise and bent quickly to retrieve it.

Though not a publically endorsed skill to learn, most shinobi were passable pickpockets. Iruka was an excellent pickpocket, and, in order to become excellent, he had to recognize all the traits that made bad pickpockets bad. He straightened slowly, using the press of humanity to hide his arm while he reached between the closest two people for the back pocket of the one on the other side.

Nothing started fights faster than attempted theft, and nothing cleared out an area like a fight. If he could convince this person that the one standing behind him had just tried to lift his wallet...

Two tactics could be used for relieving a person of their wallet- either you reached into the pocket and pulled it out or you pushed the wallet out from the outside. The former was harder, but in general less noticeable if you could pull it off. The later almost always got you caught.

Iruka turned his hand palm up and stretched until the tips of his fingers just touched fabric before raking them upwards to find the wallet, putting a little bit more pressure than was necessary.

No wallet. No back pocket, actually, he realized when his hand contacted the unmistakable bulky form of a weapon pouch. _Aw, shit._

"Are you looking for something, Iruka-sensei?"

The lazy tones made the voice unmistakable, and for that, he was glad. Iruka wasn't sure he could meet Kakashi's gaze. "Um..." '_Oh god, please don't kill me_' was the only thing he could think of to say, but it wasn't exactly what he wanted his last words to be.

"If you haven't found it by now, sensei, I don't think you're going to find it." Kakashi looked pointedly at Iruka's hand that was still palming his right buttock.

Iruka yanked his hand back as if he'd been scaled, fighting down the heat flaring across his cheeks. He swallowed hard, turned slowly and walked off. If he was going to flee, he was at least going to flee at a sedate pace with his head held high. To hell with the stories that would be circulating within the next thirty minutes.

He would have to apologize profusely to Kotetsu and Izumo later for getting them gift cards instead of a personalized present. The worst of it was that he would have to explain _why_ he hadn't gotten them anything.

Still, it made for a good story. Not many people could legitimately claim to have groped the infamous Hatake Kakashi and lived to tell the tale.


	10. 10th Day of Christmas

**10th Day of Christmas  
><strong>_Theme: Christmas curses, unstable jutsu's and other marvelous misadventures_

Weather is something that no one should ever - _ever_ - tamper with. How the brats had gotten their hands on that particular forbidden scroll, Iruka would never know. All he knew was that he had been five seconds too late to keep them from finishing the seals and that this particular jutsu had an almost immediate result.

He picked his head up slowly, shoulder aching from where he'd hit the floor after tackling Kohohamaru to it in a desperate effort to keep him from making the last seal. The air in the Hokage tower had taken on a certain crisp chill that he usually associated with snow, and the large snowdrift against the window confirmed his suspicions. He dropped his head back to the floor with a thunk. Konoha was in for several months of bizarre weather if previous experiments with the weather were anything to go on.

_Wait. Snowdrift? _He was sure that he'd chased his students up at least three flights of stairs. He scrambled to his feet and peered out the window. Even as he leaned towards it, the window swung inward, and snow spilled into the hallway.

The entire village was covered though not completely buried. The snow seemed to be concentrated around the tower, building piles up to the fourth floor in some places.

"Wow! Did we do that?" Konohamaru grinned out at the village. "Awesome!"

Iruka snagged the back of his collar and hauled him away from the window, dodging flying fists and feet. "Konohamaru!" A snowball collided with the back of his head, blotting out the last syllable of the name. Cold snow poured down the collar of his vest, melting on contact and soaking into the high collar of his shirt. He dropped Konohamaru and scrabbled at the back of his neck, trying to clear the snow before he got any soggier.

The minute Konohamaru's feet hit the floor, he flashed a thumbs-up and yelled, "Way to go, Kakashi-sensei!" He snatched up the scroll and fled into the depths of the tower.

Iruka turned slowly, still fishing icy slush out from under his collar. "_Kakashi."_

His students knew that tone well. The typical reaction was to immediately fall silent, drop into their proper seats, and listen attentively.

He knew from long experience that Kakashi did not have the typical reaction to the tone. The second snowball hit him square in the chest. _Oh, that was it. Kakashi was going to die._

He scooped up a handful of snow from the pile avalanching through the window and hucked it in Kakashi's direction.

Much later, they stood in Tsunade's office, soaked to the skin. Their cheeks were flushed from the cold and - at least in Iruka's case - embarrassment at being caught acting like a ten-year-old.

She sat behind her desk, a slight smirk on her lips, awaiting an explanation that was not forthcoming from either of them as to why the halls of the Hokage tower were peppered with snow.


	11. 11th Day of Christmas

**11th Day of Christmas  
><strong>_Theme: The ANBU Guide to Critical Extractions AKA Last minute shopping for beginners_

Kakashi had always had problems remembering how to behave like a normal person. Usually, the fallout was small enough, or at least insignificant enough in his mind, that he could simply ignore it, but right now he couldn't shake the feeling that he had forgotten something _really_ important.

Trouble was that he couldn't put his finger on exactly _what_ he'd forgotten, so he shoved the feeling aside and went back to re-wrapping his kunai.

A slobbery ball landed on the table beside his elbow. Bull rested his head on the corner, another ball shoved under the drooping skin of his jowls. He nudged the ball forward with his nose.

Intent on having as little skin contact as possible with the sodden ball, Kakashi grabbed it with two fingers and flipped it over his shoulder across the apartment.

Bull gave him a baleful look. The second ball took the same path as the first, nudged forward until it was resting against Kakashi's hand. Bull gave him two unintelligible wags of his tail and trotted off.

_Must have been something in their food. _Kakashi turned to watch Bull heave his bulk up onto the bed and settle down.

Not two minutes later - with this kind of commotion, he was never going to finish - Uuhei sprinted through the apartment with one end of a roll of wrapping paper in her mouth and Pakkun hard on her heels.

Where she had managed to find wrapping paper he would never know. _Definitely something in the food._

She braked sharply, leaping over Pakkun as he scrambled for purchase on the floor. Paper fluttered around him, and Uuhei pulled it tight, wrapping Pakkun in a tube of scratched and creased paper. She sat back, mouth lolling open in silent laughter.

His dogs were weird, but they were rarely this weird. The nagging sensation was back.

_Shit. _Realization hit like a ton of hadn't gotten anything for Iruka. His cabinets yielded nothing save for a couple of spiders. His closet wasn't much better. He tore through his weapon storage, loathe to part with most of the items within, and finally sat back with a box fished from the very back corner and coated with dust. He ran his thumb over the top to clear the label.

_Chuunin like assorted poisons, right?_


	12. 12th Day of Christmas

**12th Day of Christmas  
><strong>_Theme: Time off or Not_

_Christmas Eve._ Iruka bit back the pity-laced sigh that was building at the base of his throat and stretched his arms out across the desk, resting his chin on them. The mission room was deserted, his fellow co-workers having been sent home several hours ago.

Usually, the mission room was open all day, every day. Missions were ongoing, and returning shinobi more often than not had critical information that needed to be reported. The job of the mission desk was to assess that information and determine whether it was crucial enough to wake the hokage. In order to make that assessment, someone had to be there.

Tonight was a particularly odd situation. Though unplanned, almost all of the shinobi corps was home for Christmas save for one.

That one was supposed to return tonight, but Iruka had worked the mission desk long enough to know that Kakashi was anything but punctual.

Okay, so he _had_ volunteered for this, but all of the other shinobi had families to get home to, and he wasn't about to stand in the way of that even if it meant sitting in an empty room until all hours of the morning.

Kakashi rolled in casually at dawn, confirming Iruka's worst suspicions. He came around the mission desk and collapsed into the unoccupied chair at Iruka's right, pulling out a crumpled scroll and smoothing it out on the table.

A mission report. A _blank_ mission report. Iruka chucked a pen at Kakashi before he even started looking for one and settled back for what was sure to be a long wait.

For close to ten minutes, the mission room remained blissfully silent save for the light scratch of pen on parchment, then Kakashi shot a sideways glance at him and raised an eyebrow. "You seem upset, Iruka-sensei."

"Upset?" Iruks snorted in derision. "What would make you think I'm upset, Kakashi-sensei? It's not like I've been here all night waiting for the _last_ person to report back in so that I can close up the mission desk and head home. It's not like I could have spent last night being an awkward third wheel." The words left such a bitter taste in his mouth that he had to pause for a moment. Any number of his friends would be more than happy to open their homes to him, but they all had someone else to spend the holidays with as well. It was why he'd volunteered for this assignment in the first place. Better to give someone a chance to spend time with his loved ones than to take that opportunity away. "You know what the worst part is? The worst part is that I shouldn't be complaining because it's not like I have anything better to be doing.

"You're not the only one who's alone, sensei."

Iruka snapped his mouth shut, instantly regretting the diatribe. Of course he should have remembered Kakashi's situation - so like his and yet so very different - but, in all honesty, he'd just assumed that Kakashi didn't care. He hadn't seen Kakashi express any emotions like a normal person might, so why would he expect this case to be any different?

Lost in his thoughts and staring at the table in embarrassment, Iruka barely noticed when the scratching of the pen faded away. Only the oppressive feel of silence around him made him lift his head and take the full brunt of Kakashi's thoughtful stare.

"The dogs and I always make Christmas dinner. It's usually horribly unsuccessful, but I haven't killed us yet." Kakashi paused to consider something. "We did wind up eating take out on the roof because of the smoke last year, but that only happened once."

Not exactly the scathing response he'd been expecting. "Are...are you inviting me over for Christmas dinner?" The comment had seemed almost informatory, but he couldn't be sure.

"No one likes to be alone." Kakashi held out the finished mission report, relinquishing it when Iruka took the other end.

No, no one did like to be alone. "Okay." With the mission scroll tucked safely into one of the drawers under the desk, Iruka stood, smoothed his vest down and collected his belongings before remembering Kakashi's warning about the food. "But I'm cooking."

_He hadn't killed anyone yet, _Iruka's mind helpfully repeated the earlier reassurance. He didn't really feel like starting out the next year dead.

OOOOOOOOO

That's, quite literally, all she wrote! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!


End file.
